i woke up yesterday morning sticky with creamsicle flavoured lube. it was in my hair and on my face; the quilt had tacky spots.

the sadness was overwhelming.

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three days ago i asked DAG if he ever thought about us and missed us together. he said, “yes, of course i do.” i believe him. he’s never lied. would never lie.

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he called last night and we chatted. i was exhausted and miserable and did not feel like talking. his voice made me cry. he asked if i were okay. i said, “yes”.

but of course, i am not okay. he knows.